Day 8- Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
That's 2021 so I'll be... oh, God! I'll almost be 37?! Yeesh! I'll be married with 2 babies. And, I'm praying every day that this condition doesn't afflict them or their children. I'm not sure if it's hereditary or if it's random. And, if they do get it, then they're older like I was. I don't know if I can deal with them having it young.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
30 Day Challenge Day 7
Day 7- What was the biggest realization you have had?
I'm not alone in this battle. When I first got this diagnosis, I felt like I was alone. I was the only one my age with this disease and feeling old before my time. Then, I joined a few groups on Facebook and got in contact with people going through similar struggles. My best friend was diagnosed with a different form so now we fight together.
I'm not alone in this battle. When I first got this diagnosis, I felt like I was alone. I was the only one my age with this disease and feeling old before my time. Then, I joined a few groups on Facebook and got in contact with people going through similar struggles. My best friend was diagnosed with a different form so now we fight together.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
30 Day Challenge
Day 6- If you could have told yourself something when you first remember these symptoms arising, what would you have said?
It's going to be a hard road. You'll be scared and depressed. But, don't let that stop you. You'll dance at your sister's wedding and your own. Just keep some pain killers on hand for the next day. Because you won't want to get out of bed. You can still travel and go to Cedar Point. You can work out and walk with friends. You'll just have to rest more afterward. It is possible to live life. And your friends and family will be cheering you on.
It's going to be a hard road. You'll be scared and depressed. But, don't let that stop you. You'll dance at your sister's wedding and your own. Just keep some pain killers on hand for the next day. Because you won't want to get out of bed. You can still travel and go to Cedar Point. You can work out and walk with friends. You'll just have to rest more afterward. It is possible to live life. And your friends and family will be cheering you on.
Monday, April 25, 2016
30 Day Challenge Day 5
Day 5- How does being chronically ill make you feel?
Honestly? It sucks! I'm almost 32 and I can't do a lot of things a healthy person should do. I dread getting pregnant someday. Not only because RA will make it even more uncomfortable than it already is but I have a fear I'll be passing this on to my children. If I didn't have such a great support group of my friends and family and my sweetie, I don't think I'd be able to deal.
Honestly? It sucks! I'm almost 32 and I can't do a lot of things a healthy person should do. I dread getting pregnant someday. Not only because RA will make it even more uncomfortable than it already is but I have a fear I'll be passing this on to my children. If I didn't have such a great support group of my friends and family and my sweetie, I don't think I'd be able to deal.
Sunday, April 24, 2016
30 Day Challenge Day 4
Day 4- How have your friends and family reacted to it?
I've been lucky. Most of my family and my friends have been really supportive. I hear so many stories from people on the support groups about spouses that won't touch them and siblings that get mad and think they're making up what they go through. And, my heart just goes out to them.
I think part of it is because I struggle with that fake "I'm okay" mask. And, they can tell it's an act because I've done that my whole life. I could be pushing myself to near exhaustion with school, work, whatever else I'm involved in, but I still put on that smile and say I'm fine until I actually fall over on my face. It's that stubbornness that runs in my family. I can't help it. It's in my blood.
Only people I've had issue with has been people at work. Well... a person at work more recently. There have been a few bosses that wouldn't take me seriously. Would wonder why I wanted to go home early but they just shook their heads and let me. One person wouldn't shut her mouth. Ever know someone who was a passive aggressive bitch? That's her. Usually, you see these people in high school so that fact that she's an adult is just sad. She'll make comments to other people just within earshot of me. And, yes, I take it to heart. Because she does it to other people, too. She's always got this snarky tone in her voice and, I guess people think that's how she is and just how she talks. But, when directed a certain way, it's crosses the line from joking to mean.
I've told my boss about it and she claims to have spoken to this woman so we'll see. But, I can't complain too much if she's my only visible issue, I guess.
I've been lucky. Most of my family and my friends have been really supportive. I hear so many stories from people on the support groups about spouses that won't touch them and siblings that get mad and think they're making up what they go through. And, my heart just goes out to them.
I think part of it is because I struggle with that fake "I'm okay" mask. And, they can tell it's an act because I've done that my whole life. I could be pushing myself to near exhaustion with school, work, whatever else I'm involved in, but I still put on that smile and say I'm fine until I actually fall over on my face. It's that stubbornness that runs in my family. I can't help it. It's in my blood.
Only people I've had issue with has been people at work. Well... a person at work more recently. There have been a few bosses that wouldn't take me seriously. Would wonder why I wanted to go home early but they just shook their heads and let me. One person wouldn't shut her mouth. Ever know someone who was a passive aggressive bitch? That's her. Usually, you see these people in high school so that fact that she's an adult is just sad. She'll make comments to other people just within earshot of me. And, yes, I take it to heart. Because she does it to other people, too. She's always got this snarky tone in her voice and, I guess people think that's how she is and just how she talks. But, when directed a certain way, it's crosses the line from joking to mean.
I've told my boss about it and she claims to have spoken to this woman so we'll see. But, I can't complain too much if she's my only visible issue, I guess.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
30 Day Challenge- Day 3
Day 3- How Did You Get Your Diagnosis?
My doctor? :)
I was having trouble with an old injury that wasn't healing properly. I was going to an orthopedic doctor and wasn't getting any relief. So, they sent me to a rheumatologist. After many, many blood tests, they confirmed I have psero-negative (sp?) RA, which means it doesn't show up in blood tests.
My doctor? :)
I was having trouble with an old injury that wasn't healing properly. I was going to an orthopedic doctor and wasn't getting any relief. So, they sent me to a rheumatologist. After many, many blood tests, they confirmed I have psero-negative (sp?) RA, which means it doesn't show up in blood tests.
Friday, April 22, 2016
30 Day Challenge Day 2
Day 2- "How has your illness affected your life?"
I get through. Yeah, there are days when I want to curl up in a ball and cry in bed all day. Or, just cut my legs off at the knee... But, it's starting to slowly attack my hands and wrists, too. And, I can't cut those off because I'm a writer and need my hands to do that work. It's a struggle some days to get out of bed. Even to go across the hall to the bathroom some nights when my foot hurts.
I do have to take many things into consideration, though. I definitely have it better than some. That doesn't stop me from crying myself to sleep some nights. You can only be strong for so long before you have to break down. I also know I'm not alone in this battle. Along with my friends and family who know my struggle, I am on several Facebook support groups. Many people are my age, so I don't feel like I'm the only 31 year old woman who feels like she's 301.
Work is the biggest struggle. I'm on my feet all day and I come home exhausted. I had a time where I'd come home with the intent to write but I just go to sleep. So, I'm trying to get up before work so I can write/edit/film/whatever. I'm not a morning person so it's not easy but my guy helps motivate me and makes coffee so that helps.
As I keep saying, you just have to take these things one day at a time. There will never be that old sense of "normal" ever again. So you have to find a new normal. Some days will be okay, some days you cry yourself to sleep. Make the best of what you have and it helps a lot.
I get through. Yeah, there are days when I want to curl up in a ball and cry in bed all day. Or, just cut my legs off at the knee... But, it's starting to slowly attack my hands and wrists, too. And, I can't cut those off because I'm a writer and need my hands to do that work. It's a struggle some days to get out of bed. Even to go across the hall to the bathroom some nights when my foot hurts.
I do have to take many things into consideration, though. I definitely have it better than some. That doesn't stop me from crying myself to sleep some nights. You can only be strong for so long before you have to break down. I also know I'm not alone in this battle. Along with my friends and family who know my struggle, I am on several Facebook support groups. Many people are my age, so I don't feel like I'm the only 31 year old woman who feels like she's 301.
Work is the biggest struggle. I'm on my feet all day and I come home exhausted. I had a time where I'd come home with the intent to write but I just go to sleep. So, I'm trying to get up before work so I can write/edit/film/whatever. I'm not a morning person so it's not easy but my guy helps motivate me and makes coffee so that helps.
As I keep saying, you just have to take these things one day at a time. There will never be that old sense of "normal" ever again. So you have to find a new normal. Some days will be okay, some days you cry yourself to sleep. Make the best of what you have and it helps a lot.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
30 Day Prompt Challenge 1
I found this prompt list on Pinterest and decided to try it just to keep me writing in this blog. I might not post every day but I will get through all the prompts. I can tell some of these will be pretty brief entries.
Day 1- "Introduce yourself. What illnesses do you have? How long have you had them?"
Hi,
For those just discovering this blog, I'm Carey. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when I was about 26. I probably had it longer because I started having issues at about 23 or 24.
I also have an under active thyroid. I don't think that's considered a chronic illness but it is a pain in the rear because it makes it hard to lose weight. That started when I was 13 or 14. So, my struggle with my weight and slower metabolism increases the load on my poor arthritic knees. But, I still drag myself out of bed each day and keep going.
Day 1- "Introduce yourself. What illnesses do you have? How long have you had them?"
Hi,
For those just discovering this blog, I'm Carey. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when I was about 26. I probably had it longer because I started having issues at about 23 or 24.
I also have an under active thyroid. I don't think that's considered a chronic illness but it is a pain in the rear because it makes it hard to lose weight. That started when I was 13 or 14. So, my struggle with my weight and slower metabolism increases the load on my poor arthritic knees. But, I still drag myself out of bed each day and keep going.
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Feeling Better
I'm feeling so much better! The weather has improved. It's warmer and dryer and it feels so good! It's just after 7:30 and I'm sitting in the office with the window open listening to birds. It's beautiful!
Today, I'm going to work out with my best friend and we're going to hang out for a while. Then, I'm going to have dinner with an old friend. I'm going to try and get some editing done but I've been distracted by a recently discovered writing channel on YouTube and got a random urge to want to color yesterday. (I have a fairy tale coloring book so I set up my camera and started to record coloring a page I tore out. It's actually kinda fun. Maybe it'll be a new segment on my own YouTube page)
I've found that when I'm feeling tired and hurting, herbal tea is really soothing. It may not make the pain go away, but it's nice to sit at my computer or stretch out on the couch with a big mug and let the stress of the day fall away. I have a variety pack with a bunch of flavors and I'm really enjoying them.
Anyway, going to attempt to get some work done before I have to leave. Seeing as I'll be gone most of the day. Bye!
Today, I'm going to work out with my best friend and we're going to hang out for a while. Then, I'm going to have dinner with an old friend. I'm going to try and get some editing done but I've been distracted by a recently discovered writing channel on YouTube and got a random urge to want to color yesterday. (I have a fairy tale coloring book so I set up my camera and started to record coloring a page I tore out. It's actually kinda fun. Maybe it'll be a new segment on my own YouTube page)
I've found that when I'm feeling tired and hurting, herbal tea is really soothing. It may not make the pain go away, but it's nice to sit at my computer or stretch out on the couch with a big mug and let the stress of the day fall away. I have a variety pack with a bunch of flavors and I'm really enjoying them.
Anyway, going to attempt to get some work done before I have to leave. Seeing as I'll be gone most of the day. Bye!
Monday, April 11, 2016
RA can go suck it
I cannot begin to explain the agony I've been in since Friday. My right ankle has been throbbing and swollen. I could not sleep last night. I can hardly put weight on my foot. I actually caved and went to buy a cane at the local drugstore just so I can get up in the middle of the night or when I've been at my computer for a long period of time. (Writing, returning emails, etc)
Last night, I had to do this strange little scoot with my better foot so I could keep weight off my hurting one. I came close to crying out and actually woke up my boyfriend. I felt bad because it was about 3 in the morning and he gets up around 4 to get stuff ready for work.
The weather has been a big factor. It's been cold, even some snow. And, today, even though it warmed up a little, it's damp and raining. So, today was the worst. Now, the Chinese food I had for dinner with my dad is certainly going to make this worse. But, I am going to make myself a giant mug of tea, prop my foot on a pile of pillows, and spend the evening on the bed. I have my newly printed manuscript waiting to be edited and it's Dancing with the Stars night!
So, I guess, despite the pain, not a bad way to spend a Monday night.
I just hope I can make it through the rest of the week. I have 34 days until my first vacation week.
I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired! Joe asked me yesterday what will happen when I get pregnant eventually? I will have to ask my doctor about that someday soon, as we're talking about a wedding in 2017 and, likely, babies shortly after. All the more reason to work on my writing so I can quit my day job. Maybe, if I'm not on my feet all day, it'll help me feel better. *shrug*
Anyway, I better go make that tea.
Have a good night,
Carey
https://www.facebook.com/nerdwritergirl/
https://twitter.com/nerdwritergirl
https://www.patreon.com/nerdwritergirl
Last night, I had to do this strange little scoot with my better foot so I could keep weight off my hurting one. I came close to crying out and actually woke up my boyfriend. I felt bad because it was about 3 in the morning and he gets up around 4 to get stuff ready for work.
The weather has been a big factor. It's been cold, even some snow. And, today, even though it warmed up a little, it's damp and raining. So, today was the worst. Now, the Chinese food I had for dinner with my dad is certainly going to make this worse. But, I am going to make myself a giant mug of tea, prop my foot on a pile of pillows, and spend the evening on the bed. I have my newly printed manuscript waiting to be edited and it's Dancing with the Stars night!
So, I guess, despite the pain, not a bad way to spend a Monday night.
I just hope I can make it through the rest of the week. I have 34 days until my first vacation week.
I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired! Joe asked me yesterday what will happen when I get pregnant eventually? I will have to ask my doctor about that someday soon, as we're talking about a wedding in 2017 and, likely, babies shortly after. All the more reason to work on my writing so I can quit my day job. Maybe, if I'm not on my feet all day, it'll help me feel better. *shrug*
Anyway, I better go make that tea.
Have a good night,
Carey
https://www.facebook.com/nerdwritergirl/
https://twitter.com/nerdwritergirl
https://www.patreon.com/nerdwritergirl
Thursday, April 7, 2016
Soda Pop Update and Working Out
So... I almost made it through Lent with no pop... Until I had 2 consecutive shifts where I had to work until 1 a.m. Then I needed Mountain Dew like my life depended on it and swigged 4 20 oz. bottles in 2 days time. Not exactly the best thing for me and I still passed out as soon as I got home. But, I was awake enough to drive home late at night and that's all that mattered.
Also, it's been about a month since I joined another gym to try and work out on a somewhat regular basis. The pool at my rec center was broke for a while so I joined Planet Fitness. My friend had been trying to convince me for months so I finally did it. And, once a week, we meet at a location in between where we live. (She lives in Sandusky, I live near Cleveland) We spend about 2 hours doing cardio and weights. She and I both have auto-immune forms of arthritis so we're both trying to strengthen our bodies and drop pounds and try and get healthier. I know she has 3 beautiful reasons to do this, her daughter and 2 adorable boys, all under the age of 10. We both want to live long, happy lives and be with our families until we're crazy, old, and (possibly) senile. So, we've been trying to work really hard.
In other news, I published my book! I will link my author page on Amazon here so you can check out my book in paperback and Kindle, as well as 2 Kindle short stories.
I need to work on updating my blogs more often.
I'll post again soon!
Carey
Also, it's been about a month since I joined another gym to try and work out on a somewhat regular basis. The pool at my rec center was broke for a while so I joined Planet Fitness. My friend had been trying to convince me for months so I finally did it. And, once a week, we meet at a location in between where we live. (She lives in Sandusky, I live near Cleveland) We spend about 2 hours doing cardio and weights. She and I both have auto-immune forms of arthritis so we're both trying to strengthen our bodies and drop pounds and try and get healthier. I know she has 3 beautiful reasons to do this, her daughter and 2 adorable boys, all under the age of 10. We both want to live long, happy lives and be with our families until we're crazy, old, and (possibly) senile. So, we've been trying to work really hard.
In other news, I published my book! I will link my author page on Amazon here so you can check out my book in paperback and Kindle, as well as 2 Kindle short stories.
I need to work on updating my blogs more often.
I'll post again soon!
Carey
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)