This isn't working

It's pretty bad when you just sit around visiting and you're still in pain. I was so excited because the past 2 nights I made it to the gym for a brief workout. I don't know if that over did it or what. But, I've been achy all day long.

I had to put lidocaine on both knees in hopes that it would help me a little. It stinks.

I'm hoping I can get through my sister's wedding in 20 days. If I can make the walk down the aisle, that'll be enough for me.

And, this is before physical therapy even begins. That's next Wednesday. I'm so glad that's before vacation week because I'm going to die. If 30 minutes of upper body contributes to this much pain, how is physical therapy on my knee going to make me feel?

I had such a nice day today, too. My honey and I went to my parents. My sister and her pup came over and our cousins we hadn't seen in ages. My dad made an amazing dinner and we enjoyed a nice, cool September afternoon together. But, I'm still in pain. I'm tired of it. Tired of hurting. Tired of hobbling like a 184 year old woman. Tired of being exhausted from all the pain!

I'm giving this stupid cortisone shot until the Monday after my sister's wedding. If I'm still feeling like shit, I'm calling that damn doctor and saying try something else. And, see what we can do for the other knee, too. Because the left isn't far behind the right.

Anyway, needed to vent a little. Hope everyone has a great night.

First Workout After Cortisone Shot

So, one thing that got to me on Tuesday, as if sticking a giant needle in my knee wasn't bad enough, was the doctor giving me a nice long lecture about my weight and how every pound extra causes 7 pounds of pressure on your body and that's probably a huge part of my problem.

What I couldn't say to him was that I had lost about 15 pounds between March and July because I was going to the gym at least once a week. But, when this severe pain began, I couldn't walk so I couldn't go to the gym and guess what? I gained it all back. So, since this cortisone, so far, seems to be helping, I went back to the gym today. I brought my clothes with me to go right after work and did some upper body and ab work. I lasted about 25 minutes before my knee started to throb. Although, since it's been almost 6 weeks since I've done any regular exercise, I take that as a pretty good start.

So, tomorrow I work until 8:00 and I'm going to try again. Sunday I have the day off and my fiancé and I are going to visit my parents. My cousins are coming over and so is my friend, Kate, because she's going to dog sit for my sister's wedding. My mom wants her to meet the pups at least once before the day. And, since that day is 22 days away, we have to get on that.

I plan on going to the gym on Monday and Wednesday and Friday, too, as well as the pool on Tuesday because I'm off a lot earlier. Since my rec center also has a weight room, I might take my iPod and do that first and then use the pool as a cool off time. Thursday I'm planning on some much needed best friend time.

Saturday we're doing some sort of combined Bachelor/Bachelorette party with my sister's friends so that will be fun.

Nice thing is, I work 1 full week and then 2 or 3 days and I have over a week and a half off! Vacation time! And, by vacation time, I mean running around like a crazy person time helping with last minute prep for above mentioned wedding.

I hope this shot lasts me through the wedding stuff because I would like to get on the dance floor a little. Although, I know I'll be lying in bed the next day crying, "Everything f***ing hurts! Whyyyy does everything f***ing hurt?" Something that will NOT happen in 2017.

Okay, I have to get back to book writing. Just wanted to do an update on this whole "Not getting surgery" stuff.

Back from the doctor

Okay, here is the long awaited update.

The doctor said he doesn't want to jump into surgery just yet. Because of my age. Which I'm not thrilled with. I know I'll be back for another surgery but hopefully in 20-30 years. But, I figured I'd try his methods for a while and see if it actually helps.

So, he did a cortisone shot today. I hate needles. So, I was not thrilled. It hurt like hell. But, ideally, it should work for a few weeks. That will, at least, get me through my sister's wedding in 25 days.

Along with the cortisone treatments, I'm being sent for physical therapy. And I'll be hitting the pool at every chance I get. Hoping that weight loss will help ease the strain on my poor knees.

If the cortisone doesn't work, he'll do the gel injections. Kind of an artificial cartilage. That should work for a few months as opposed to weeks. Again, ideally. But, this whole thing has been far from ideal so we'll see.

If all that fails, THEN we do surgery.

I'm not looking for to the long process of "Try and see." But, I'll go with it for a whole. He said that people have responded to these treatments combined with diet and exercise and ended up going years before needing surgery.

I'm thawing out some chicken for dinner. My biggest thing is cutting the fast food. I need to print out a bunch of recipes and plan meals so I don't have the salt and junk.

I may try and go for a swim later. I'll see how bad it is when this numbing agent wears off.

It's a good thing my manager has been so sweet. She has been giving me short shifts while I go through this. If the cortisone helps, maybe I can ask her to add a few more hours on.

I'm in for a long road. But, I'll do whatever it takes to make this stop. Even if it means getting needles in my knee. *shudder* I'm so glad my honey went with me. He held my hand during the whole thing. I lay down on the table and instantly started shaking. I kept tensing up which just made it hurt more and I was squeezing my honey's hand until I was afraid I was going to break his fingers.

Mom went with us, too. She asked a lot of questions. And was a big help because she was nice enough to drive.

Well, I guess that's all I have to say about this for now.

I'm going to get some writing done, hopefully, and enjoy my day off.

Have a great day!

Quick post at work

I'm dying. So dying! We're short handed because call offs coincide with holiday weekends. So, I'd feel bad if I asked to bail but I don't know how much longer I can make it. Even my hands hurt today!